Nightfalling
by yesimadramaqueen
Summary: Two broken people meet in the night. Suddenly he's falling in love. Post BDM.
1. Chapter 1

"Do you wanna take over?" he asked. She smiled. He was trusting her with his ship. She had flown before, but only for a short while before he'd step in and took over. She nodded happily. He flipped a few switches and then pressed a button. She was in control. She loved the feeling she got when she was flying Serenity. Control. She didn't have control over anything else but that ship. Her ship. Her home. "Good job darlin'. You got natural talent." Her smile widened.

He looked at her profile. A smile suited her. She was so small. Her arms and legs were so thin. He watched her go from a confused girl to a semi-stable woman. It had been a little over four months since Wash and Book. Four months he had been flying with her at his side. She rarely spoke, but neither did he. Somehow it wasn't an empty silence. It felt…safe. Just him, his ship, and his copilot. He was trusting her with his ship more and more. At first he was afraid to let her fly. She had her mood swings…use to have her mood swings. Since the secret locked away in her mind was unleashed to everyone in the 'verse, she had gotten a lot better. She still had her moments of incoherent babbling and emotional breakdowns. Either way, she was on the mend. She hadn't had a full out break down in at least a month.

"I'm goin' to go get somethin' to drink. You want anything?" he asked. She shook her head without taking her eyes off of the stars. "I'll be right back."

He went into the galley and got a glass of water. The ship was so quiet. Things had definitely changed. Simon and Kaylee were an item, and pretty serious. He moved into her bunk permanently instead of their nightly rendezvous. Jayne was still Jayne. He spent most of his time working out in the cargo hold or in his bunk with his guns. Zoe wasn't the same. Who would be? Wash was the love of her life. A part of her died with him that day. She spent most of her time keeping busy by working on Serenity. She'd repaint something here or move cargo around there, anything to avoid thinking about the pain. Inara was still onboard. She moved into Simon's room since her shuttle was missing all of her Companion frills.

Things between them, Mal and Inara, were they way that had always been. The only time they spoke was when they were arguing about something. Yet she still hadn't left. She would make up excuses to stay. They didn't make any sense, but he'd always say the same thing. "Okay." He didn't want her to leave. No one did. She was a part of the family.

He set the empty glass down and then returned to the pilot's seat. "You wanna keep flyin' her or do you wanna switch?" he asked.

"Keep flying if you don't mind."

"Not at all." He leaned back in his chair. At first he was looking out at space, but all space looked the same to him. His eyes wandered, his gaze transfixed on River. She was such a mystery. She flew his ship with such grace. She did everything with grace. Even as he watched her breathe, her chest would rise and fall with a grace that he had never seen before. He watched her fingers glide over the controls flawlessly.

"Dinner," Inara's voice made him jump slightly.

"Right. Okay," he replied. She nodded and then walked away. He opened his mouth to say, "Dinner" but she cut across him.

"I heard."

It was weird how she could do that. She would freak Mal out sometimes. He knew that she was a reader, but it still scared him when she knew things. Her mind intrigued him. He wondered how it worked. Sometimes when she looked at him or looked out at space, she got this look in her eye…like the wheels were turning. He wondered what she thought about. Even if he could hear what she was thinking, he probably wouldn't understand it. Maybe she thought in code or in algebraic expressions. She was so smart…brighter than the brightest star in all of the 'verse.

She put it on autopilot and then they joined everyone at the table. Simon sat with Kaylee, Zoe sat beside Inara and Inara sat beside Jayne, and Mal and River sat across from each other. Simon's arm was around Kaylee, like it almost always was. Their public displays of affection were not only nauseating, but hurtful to Zoe. Dinner wasn't as fun without Wash and Book. They still had some fun, but not as much. They finished eating and started clearing away the table.

"Simon! I got to fly the ship again!"  
"That's great! You'll have to tell me about it sometime," he patted her on the back and then took Kaylee's hand. They walked away talking and laughing.

River loved Kaylee, but ever since she started going out with Simon things had changed. Simon barely had time for her anymore. He was always off somewhere with Kaylee or in his lab. He wasn't there when she was upset. She felt alone. Not completely alone. When she was in the cockpit with Mal, everything was okay. She couldn't describe it. Even though they didn't really talk, it was just…safe. It was just her, her ship, and her captain…her amazing captain.

She returned to the helm with Mal. They went back to their usual routine. Mal would fly while she sat in the copilot's seat watching him. She learned a lot from watching him. She brought her knees close to her chest, setting her chin on them. She stared at him as he worked. There was nothing else to look at. She really didn't mind looking at him either. Every time she did, her heart went into overdrive.

"It's gettin' late," Mal began. He was thinking that River should go to bed while he continued to fly. It wasn't that he minded her company—oh no it was the opposite. He loved his little Albatross' presence. It made the ship a little less lonely. He wanted her to get her rest.

"No I'm not going to bed. You aren't. Why should I?" There she goes, reading his thoughts again. He hated how she did that.

"You should be gettin' your rest."

"So should you."

"I'm not tired."

"Neither am I."

"I still think that you should go to-"

"I will when you do."

There was a pause.

"You ain't gonna go are you?"

"When you do."

"I can't win with you can I?"

"It's very improbable."

He laughed.

"Fine. You win darlin'."

He put it on autopilot and rose from the pilot's seat.

"Goodnight River."

"Goodnight."

She watched him walk away and then vanish into his bunk. He didn't know that she rarely slept at night. She still had the nightmares, which lately had taken on other topics. Simon used to be there at night, but now he was busy with Kaylee. She didn't like crying in her room for fear of Inara hearing her. Inara was a good person, but she didn't really understand. So, River would come back to the cockpit and hide behind the large control station and she'd cry. When she finished crying she'd go back to her room as if the night had never happened. That night would be different. That night would change everything.


	2. Chapter 2

She had tried to sleep, but once again the nightmares kept her up. She slid out of her room and then glided up the stairs, the cold metallic floor piercing her bare feet. She silently entered the cockpit, sitting in the copilot's chair. She shut her eyes trying to block out the nightmare, the pain, the general confusion she felt everyday. She was lost…like smoke caught in the violently howling wind. She wouldn't cry. She was tired of crying. She didn't even feel the tears anymore.

She curled into a fetal position, tucking her face into her arms. She would not cry. She would not cry. A flashback or two later, tears were forming in her eyes. She blinked and then she was crying, her muffled sobs barely audible over the creaking and humming of Serenity. This had slowly become a habit, a painfully familiar daily activity. Only Serenity knew her secret nightly cries. No one else heard or saw, her pain buried within these metal walls. But she was about to have another witness, only this one was of the human variety.

Mal had gone to bed early so River would follow suit. He was surprised at how quickly he fell asleep. The cries, the gunshots, the explosions, the bodies…they all came back, haunting his normally pleasant dreams. Every once and awhile, he'd have a nightmare about the war and Serenity Valley. He would rarely go back to sleep after those dreams. It was one of those nights. He jolted awake, his body covered in a thin layer of sweat. He put a shirt on and then scaled the ladder out of his bunk. He needed water…food…something. Maybe he just needed to walk around his ship. Something about the rhythmic purrs coming from the engine made him feel at peace. He was heading towards the galley, but heard something coming from the cockpit. It sounded like someone crying. He could barely hear it, but it was there. He had to go investigate. It had to be Zoe, he thought. Crying at Wash's chair, maybe even holding one of his toy dinosaurs. The poor thing. He did a double take when he saw River curled up into a tiny ball. She looked so small, so fragile like if he touched her she could break.

"Little one?" his voice was caring, concerned. She froze. She hadn't heard him coming. She didn't have time to pull it together. Instead he found her vulnerable and wounded. When she didn't answer, he took a few steps closer to her. He could barely see her face. Her hair was mostly covering her features. He just saw her nose and the curve of her face. Her sobs had stopped. Everything had stopped. She seemed like a statue until he saw her breathing. He didn't know what to do. Simon had always been the one to take care of her. He was probably busy with Kaylee. It hurt to see her like that. He thought that she was getting better. She still hadn't replied. She didn't know what to do, what to say, what to think.

He moved closer again. He was standing right behind her chair now. She could feel his presence, his energy. He sank beside the chair so he was level with her. He extended his hand to place it caringly on her shoulder, but he hesitated. He didn't know if she should or shouldn't. What if she didn't want him to? He ignored his apprehension and barely set his hand on her shoulder. He didn't put any pressure at all. His hand just floated there, only just making contact with the thin fabric covering her shoulder. "River…" his voice was low almost like a whisper. She finally decided that she had to face him. She slowly repositioned herself so she was sitting up with her knees to her chest. She hugged them closely to her chest, acting like it was a shield. His hand was still on her shoulder. Since she hadn't moved away from it, he set his hand completely on her shoulder gently rubbing her back. She had been crying pretty hard from the looks of it. Her usually lively brown eyes were glossed over and red and puffy. Her milky white skin glowed against the darkness.

"Hey, what's wrong darlin'?" his voice was still scarcely above a soft whisper.

"Nightmares…taking over my brain…slowly monsters mixing with memories…pain like needles just under the skin…" she explained as a tear rolled down her cheek. He wanted to wipe it away, but he didn't know if that would make her uncomfortable. She looked at him for the first time since he arrived. "You know what I mean." He did.

"I do."

She looked deeper into his eyes. She saw a flash from the nightmare he had.

"You had a nightmare too."

He nodded. He didn't want to talk about it. He never talked about it. Even with Zoe, they rarely spoke about the war. When they did it was just war stories, not how they felt about it. He never talked to anyone about his feelings. He just wasn't brought up that way. River knew that, but she wanted him to. It wasn't good to hold things inside. She knew from experience. Maybe if he knew that someone understood, someone felt the same way…

"The Alliance," she began, "They changed me. They took away who I was. She's dead now. Ash lost at sea."

He sat down completely now, leaning against the control station. His eyes were intently on her. He was interested to hear what she had to say. Everything she said was intricate, with big words and fancy metaphors and phrases. He liked to hear her talk when she wasn't losing it.

"One event, one thing changed me forever. I can never go back. It still stays with me, a scar just below the surface, unseen, unheard. I like who I am now, but it's not the same. The nightmares remind me of that. There's something I can't get back. A part of me, missing, faded into the night sky among the stars. Who were you?"

Her question caught him off guard. "What do you mean?"

"Before…you were different."

"Before…?"

"The Alliance took a part of you away, like me."

He had never thought of it like that.

"I see it in your eyes. Nightmares reminding like the scars. The pain, still there, waiting to come out again…waiting to reopen the wounds…bleeding once again, no bandages stop the blood. Knowing who you were and who you are, you bleed. The memories weighing on you, you push them away. They come back sometimes. You can't shove them away. They make you who you are. They make you. They _made _you."

She let her words sink in. He sat there, digesting what she said. Every word made sense. It was like she knew how he felt. Was she reading him again or was she talking about her in a different perspective again? Either way it was his life. It's what he was feeling.

"Tell me," she said, bringing him back into the moment.

"Tell you what?"

"Everything. I want to know. I want to hear, listen."

"I…" he stopped. Her eyes were on him, waiting for him to speak. He didn't open up. That was how he was. Before, no one wanted to listen. Here's this young woman, _woman_, that wanted to. She wanted to hear him. It was too much for him to take. "…have to go now. Will you be okay?"

"Day comes, morning washing away the tears in the nightfall."

What a River answer.

"Goodnight, little one."

He got up and started walking away.

"Keeping the pain inside, hidden from view isn't good. It wants to be seen, needs to be heard. Keep it hidden, and it will bring you into the darkness with it."

He didn't stop, but he heard her. He went down into his bunk, her words ringing out in his head. How could one person, someone so small, have such a big impact?


	3. Chapter 3

The events of the night replayed in his head over and over again. Had she been talking about him, or about her, or maybe both of them? He had never thought of it like that, but their lives did parallel. The Alliance was the cause for both of their troubles. Over the months, he started to really appreciate River for the brilliant crazy person she was. He couldn't imagine her before he met her.

He got up when he usually did, even though he didn't get much sleep. He got cleaned up and dressed before gathering around the breakfast table with his crew. He hoped River would be feeling better. He entered the galley, and she was laughing…_laughing_…like she didn't have a care in the world. She was sitting with Inara. They were talking about something. Mal couldn't hear what it was. Inara nodded, also laughing now. He had never noticed before, but Inara and River both had big brown eyes. He got some coffee and then sat beside Inara, since she was motioning him over.

"What's so funny?" he asked as he sank in the seat by Inara.

"Nothing," they said in unison. He felt like it had something to do with him, but eventually he concluded that he was just being paranoid. River seemed fine, _shiny _even. Inara was telling story after story and River was enjoying them all with a smile on her face. After a quick breakfast they saw to their job flying their boat.

They sat in silence like they always did. Nothing had changed. It was like the events in the night had never happened. He kept finding time to look over at his crazy copilot. She was busy with the controls, or gazing out at space. He started to wonder what she was like before…before Serenity…the Alliance…the Academy. If he saw her, would he even recognize her? He shook the thoughts out of his head and focused on flying.

"If we keep this velocity we should arrive on the planet in precisely two days, one hour, eleven minutes, thirty-two seconds, and six milliseconds."

"Okay then. Can you take over for a bit?"

Her eyes lit up and a smile grazed her lips. He smiled back and then flipped the switches and hit the button. He got up.

"I'll be back soon. Okay?"

She nodded. He patted her on the shoulder without realizing it and then went for a walk around his ship to stretch his legs and clear his head. She seemed to have forgotten what happened. Should he? Why does he even care? His thoughts were interrupted as he accidentally collided with Simon. His papers went flying everywhere. Mal helped him gather them up. He handed them to the doc with a mumbled apology. Then he got an idea.

"Say doc, do you have time for a quick question?"

"Sure. What's this about?"

"River actually. I was…" he cleared his throat awkwardly, "What was she like before the Academy?"

"Why?"

"I was just wondering."

Simon gave him a look that clearly said, "I'm suspicious of your real intentions behind this inquiry."

"She was imaginative, always coming up with stories and playing make believe. She was always a genius. She was always just as smart as me, or more so. She was a dancer. She was always care free. Nothing got to her. Not a minute passed where she wasn't smiling or laughing. That was River."

Mal nodded silently. Simon looked at him again with the same suspicion.

"Why did you _really _ask?"

"I told you, I was just wondering. I'll see you later."

Mal walked away before Simon could say anything more. He sat back down in the pilot's chair, his eyes fixed on River. He could see her as a dancer. She had the grace, the figure. Not that he was noticing her figure. He could see her playing make believe. Her mind was so different from anyone else's, she could have really used it to make something great. But River as care free…he couldn't see. He knew her as the broken girl that first arrived on his ship a year or so ago.

"It's impolite to stare," River's voice jolted him back into reality.

"I wasn't starin'…I was just lookin' in your general direction."

"You're lying."

"You're not s'pposed to be readin' my mind."

She looked at him with amusement. He was half smiling, obviously also enjoying their interchange.

The day dragged on. He didn't look at her as much for fear that she'd sense it. He also tried to avoid thinking about anything that he didn't want her to hear. They switched it to autopilot as they met up with everyone for dinner. Simon was unusually wary of Mal. Inara and Kaylee commandeered River for some girl time. Or as Inara put it, "If you keep spending all of your time with _him _you're going to turn into a mini version of him, and I can barely tolerate one."

"Thanks Inara. I like you too." He'd replied. She smiled and then led River away. He had the cockpit all to himself. It was lonelier than he thought it would have been. After a few boring hours he switched it back to autopilot and then turned in for the night. He woke up in the middle of the night. Something told him to get up. He never ignored a gut feeling. He had a few scars to prove it. He got semi-dressed and emerged from his bunk shortly after. He instinctively went to the cockpit. He didn't see River. He moved further in, and then he saw her silky black hair. After another step he saw her profile. She looked at him. She wasn't crying this time, but she didn't look happy either. He knew that he couldn't walk away. He didn't really want to.


	4. Chapter 4

He sat down across from her, pressing up against the control station. There was only about an inch between their feet. He looked into her eyes, trying to read her, trying to assess her mental state. She looked back at him with those eyes. They cried out a single word, "Pain." For a few minutes, neither one spoke. They just looked at each other, reading one another. Finally, he spoke.

"Are you gonna tell me what's troublin' you, little one?"

"Another passenger on a broken horse."

She never ceased to confuse him, so he chose to move on instead of ponder her strange reply.

"Don't you ever sleep?"

"Before daybreak, the chatter quiets. Night, screams pierce the air."

Okay, so that means that she can sleep only in the early morning…right? If only he could understand his lil' albatross…

"Can I help quiet down them screams?"

"I told you, another passenger on a broken horse…the horse can't stand."

It was making some sense, but not completely. She heard his confusion. It was loud and drenched in desperation…a desperation to understand. She had to find a way to piece together an explanation he could understand.

"The horse will break. It already has too much weight. Too much. It's strong, but mortal. It carries enough without my weight…….you carry enough without my weight."

It made sense. Mal was the horse, her troubles was the other passenger. Being compared to a horse isn't exactly a compliment, but she did call him strong. Although she thought he'd break. She heard all of this. He really needed to learn how to think _quieter_.

"You aren't weak. You have enough weight is all."

"What did I say about pokin' 'round in my head darlin'?" he asked playfully.

"It's not my fault. You think loudly."

There was a pause. He looked at her, lost in her pain filled eyes.

"Darlin', I think I can take a little bit more weight."

"Memories, terrors, monsters…clouding the waters…no longer clear, always murky."

"Tell me 'bout 'em. I ain't the best listener, but I'm all ears right now."

"Things they did at the Academy still pain. Two by two, hands of blue."

"Who were they?"

"Screaming…blood everywhere…"

She was shaking now, getting more upset. He reached out and took her hand. She shut her eyes tightly recalling everything.

"They kept us in line. Killers. I saw what they did. Stick, sound, screams, blood everywhere. Put to sleep…experiments. Sliced, stabbed in the brain. No escape."

He gently squeezed her hand. She slowly opened her eyes, a tear cascading down her cheek. He saw the damage they did to her reflecting in her face. What could he say to that? He wanted to say something to make her feel better, but he couldn't find the right words.

"You don't have to say anything."

He smiled. There she went again. He let go of her hand gently. He went to lightly touch her hand reassuringly, but instead his hand was on her exposed knee. He quickly took his hand away. She smiled at his nervousness.

"Tell me, albatross, do you come up here every night?"

She nodded.

"I like looking at space. Hearing Serenity talk…"

"What does she say?"

"Can't tell. I keep her secrets, she keeps mine."

"Well you're doin' a shiny job of keepin' her secrets."

"I remember dancing…" she said randomly. Everything she said was usually random.

"When?"

"I was a girl then. Laughing. Playing. Nothing came close to grazing me. Bird high in the sky avoiding the clouds, singing its song without caring who would hear."

She looked at him. "How quickly a summer shower turns into a hurricane. Ride the storm out, make it through, the sun will shine again…clouds will clear. But a ray through a fog isn't sunshine. The fog doesn't leave. It hangs in the air, yet to clear."

She reached out and set her hand on his, griping slightly. He jumped at her soft touch, eventually relaxing and griping her hand back. There was something about her touch that felt different. It was…understanding. Could this crazy girl actually understand him?

"You wouldn't be a broken horse if you'd lose a passenger."

"Who should I lose?"

"_What _should you lose."

"Okay, _what _should I lose?"

"You know."

"I think you're overestimatin' me again darlin'."

"No, I'm not. You know. When you're ready, I'll be there. I can take it."

She stood up and started floating away. Surely she wasn't talking about…sex. Was she? She stopped and turned back towards him.

"You should really stop thinking so loudly. I find some of your thoughts a bit disturbing."

"I was just…you…I…it…"

She walked back over to him and extended her hand to help him up. He took it, surprised by her strength as she helped him stand. Her thin arms were defiantly an understatement.

"The nightmares you have, the thoughts you push aside, the feelings you try not to feel. Even horses can heal, Mal."

With that, she gracefully left the room. She rarely called him by name. When she did, it always left him breathless for some unknown reason.


	5. Chapter 5

_Even horses can heal, Mal. _Five words. That was it. Five words. Yet they kept him awake. She had told him her demons. Shouldn't he tell her his? No, he wouldn't. You fall down and skim your knee, you get right back up, brush off the dirt, and don't bother cryin' 'cause cryin's a waste o' time an' energy. That's what he was taught. Never cry, never fall. Get up, suck it up, and keep going. But…there was something behind River's eyes…behind her soft skin that made him want to tell her everything. The broken albatross had an effect on him, whether he liked it or not.

Once again, the next day River was as right as rain. She was having a good time, laughing and cutting up with the crew. Something had changed while they were flying. Well, in his mind it had. The silence didn't seem as…quiet? He felt closer to her, bridging the gap between silence and just stillness. He left for a short while, returning with a protein lunch for River and himself. Right after they finished eating, Kaylee came bounding in.

"Heya Cap'in! I'm here to get River. Come on River!"

"Where are you two goin'?" he asked, watching River stand up and join Kaylee.

"Girl stuff. Bye! Yer gonna love this River!"

They walked away. River looked back at him, her eyes practically speaking to him. Saying, "I'll see you later, don't worry."

He was left alone again. He listened to Serenity hum and purr, waiting for her to talk to him like she talked to River. He didn't hear anything other than her usual sounds. How is it that she could talk to Serenity, and he couldn't? This was _his _ship, _his _baby, _his _life, and yet _his _ship decided that River was a better confidant.

At dinner, River, Inara, and Kaylee were more giddy than usual. They were laughing and smiling. It was great to see River happy, since he had a gut feeling that she'd be back in the cockpit that night struggling with her demons once again.

That night he didn't even bother trying to sleep. Instead, he paced. He didn't know if she'd be up yet or not. He couldn't wait any longer. He was going crazy in his bunk. He walked into the cockpit, searching for her. He only saw her bare feet sticking out from under the control station. He leaned down until he could see her face. She was playing with her hair, gazing at no spot in particular.

"Hey there little one. I see you're up again."

"You knew I would be."

"Why don't you come out from there?"

"I feel safe here."

He didn't ask again. Instead, he sat in the chair. She could only see his boots and part of his legs. They didn't say anything. She shut her eyes and listened to his thoughts, not on purpose. It just happened like a lot of things do. He was debating whether or not he should share his demons, as he put it. She slid out from her safe little nook gracefully standing up and leaning on the control station.

"Only if you want to."

"Huh?" he asked.

"If you want to tell, I'll listen. You don't doubt that."

"No I don't. It's just, I ain't familiar with sayin' what I feel. I just wasn' taught to."

"You're a fast leaner."

"How do you know that, little one?"

"I see it in you…like a lot of things."

"Why do you wanna hear my problems when you have your own?"

"Our problems aren't too different. Frogs and toads. Rain and sleet."

He smiled. She certainly had her own way of saying things.

"Tell me. I want to know."

He couldn't refuse her.

"Now I ain't good at sayin' what I'm feelin'. So…bear with me here."

He cleared his throat while River adjusted into a more comfortable position.

"Where do you want me to begin?"

"Who you were. Start there."

"I was a young, gung-ho, trigger happy, dreamer. I enlisted in the army first chance I got. I didn't mind the war, but didn't much care for it neither. I fought for my beliefs. I was sure God would help us win. Every battle, we'd get away just fine. We had losses, but not like Serenity Valley…"

He paused, looking over at River. Her eyes glued to him, filled with intrigue. He didn't want to go on. That was just a story. He could tell stories. He couldn't share his pain. He didn't work like that. She knew he was feeling this way, so she reached out and put a hand tenderly on his shoulder.

"I lost everyone in my brigade, everyone 'cept Zoe. We lost the battle too. After that the war was lost. I prayed so damn hard, and He ignored me. That valley was a bloodbath. It's been years and I still have the nightmares."

It wasn't as hard as he thought it would have been, opening up to River. Her hand was still firmly glued to his shoulder. She saw the pain on his face as he spoke.

"It's like…" he began.

"No matter how hard you try, it keeps coming back…"

He nodded. She really did get it. He could tell. It was in her touch, her face, her voice. He could see it, feel it now. He never realized how similar they were.

"Thank you," she said her voice more like a whisper than anything else.

"I should be thankin' you. You got me to talk and _share_. That ain't easy to do."

He put his hand over her small hand that was still resting on his shoulder.

"Feel better?" she asked.

"I do. Thanks, little one."

She smiled. They stayed up together until the early morning talking and sharing memories and laughing. Their relationship had changed. They were closer. She knew his story and he knew hers. That's more than the rest of the crew could say.

"I should get to sleep now. My demonsare asleep."

"Mine too. Goodnight darlin'."

"Goodnight…Mal."

She flashed a quick smile and then vanished down the hall.

"Sweet dreams…" he sighed.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey there darlin', I see you're up. Sleep okay?" he asked as River joined him in the cockpit.

"Yes."

He watched as her slender body glided over to him, her thin and revealing dress swishing around her. She extended her hand, first caressing his face and then drifting down to his shirt, which she gripped using it to pull him towards her. He didn't fight it. She leaned down, her warm breath hot against his lips. They didn't hesitate. Their lips met for what felt like an eternity. Her lips were softer, sweeter than he imagined. They finally broke apart, only to gaze into each other's eyes before going back for seconds. He put his arms around her, pulling her on top of him without breaking their kiss. Her hands were now on his face pulling him into a deeper lip lock. He let his hand wander down her back while reaching frantically for the button to shut the door. He found it and hit it, happily returning his other hand back to the woman on top of him.

"Sir, are you up? Sir?" Zoe's voice floated through the intercom, waking Mal up instantly from his dream. And what a dream it was.

"Huh? I am now…" he growled as he rolled out of bed.

"We're landing on the planet's surface in a few, sir. I thought you'd like to know."

"Yeah. Okay. Thanks."

He got dressed, his mind clearly not on what he was doing. He had to unbutton and then re-button his shirt at least three times. The image of River on top of him, locked away in the cockpit, kissing…touching…drove him crazy. He tried to think "quietly" for fear that his little reader would find out that she was the subject of a very no-so-innocent dream. Sure he had plenty of these types of dreams, but never with River Tam. That would be like…having a dream about Kaylee or Zoe. No it's _worse _than having a dream about Zoe or Kaylee. Not that he ever actually had those. It would at least make sense to dream about Zoe or Kaylee. Why would he even think of River like that? It's wrong. It's just…WRONG.

He finally got through the process of dressing and then he joined everyone in the galley for breakfast.

"Morning, sir."

"Mornin' all."

Everyone said a "Good morning" or something like it in response.

"So tell me 'gain hows you know her," Jayne said to Inara.

"Well, she's a regular among Companions. Everyone knows her. She's very rich and very nice. When she got wind that I was coming to her world, she insisted that we all attend her party."

"Party? What party?" Mal asked.

"Madeline O'Hare, the woman I was just talking about, is one of the more influential people on this world. There's a town party tonight and she's insisting that we all drop in."

"All of us?"

"Yes Mal. _All _of us."

"What's someone as shiny as her doin' on this world?" Kaylee asked.

"Her money goes further here and she makes a fortune off of the mines."

"This party ain't fancy is it? 'Cause I don't own no ties 'n suits…" Jayne growled.

"It's a _town _party. The town's here aren't exactly upscale. Don't worry about it. It'll be fun."

"Real fun as I'm hopin'. Find me some pretty townie…" Jayne stopped abruptly like he was lost in thought. River made a face like, "Oh gross." Everyone laughed. Jayne looked at River and muttered under his breath, "Crazy witch. Stay outta my head." Mal hoped that Jayne's thoughts were a bit louder than his. Somehow his eyes kept finding their way back to River.

Jayne, Zoe, and Mal went into town to finish their business transaction. It went smoothly luckily. Only Jayne got hurt, but that's because he was eyeing the gun hand's little sister which rightfully resulted in a punch. It made Mal think about how what Simon would do…or try to do if he knew what he had dreamed about.

They went back to Serenity and relaxed for a short amount of time before going to the town party. For Jayne, Mal, and Simon, getting ready meant opening the door and walking through it. They didn't have to change or freshen up…or whatever the girls were doing. They sat impatiently in the cargo hold. Jayne removed a bottle of whiskey from under his jacket. Simon raised an eyebrow as he took a long swig.

"Should you wait until we're at the party to get drunk?"

"Doc, it's never too early to be drinkin'. You remember that."

Just at about that time, Zoe came down the steps looking like a _girl_. She wasn't wearing a dress, but she wasn't wearing boots either. She had on very nice shoes and a very flattering outfit. Her hair looked shinier than usual, like it shimmered along with her lips.

"Wow. You look like a chick."

"Thank you Jayne…I think…"

"Your welcome," he lifted his whiskey bottle to his mouth, taking another substantial swig.

"Really, you look very nice Zoe," Mal smiled.

"Thank you, sir."

"No problem."

The remaining three members of his crew came down the steps. All of them looked amazing.

Inara, as always, looked great. Her hair was up in its normal fashion. She had dark red lipstick on and very stunning makeup, making her eyes pop out more than usual. Her dress was gold with a very revealing dip at the bodice, showing off her flawless skin.

Kaylee also looked great. Her hair was up like Inara's with two chopsticks holding it in place. She had on makeup instead of engine grease. Her dress was light blue and white. It was formfitting, but looked incredible. Simon was breathless at the sight of her, which made her beam. He smiled saying, "You look amazing, but you always do." For once the doc got it right.

River was the most shocking of them all. She had on a dress that Inara had clearly given her, or gotten for her. It wasn't like her other dresses, the pale solid dresses that clung to her, flowing around her knees. No, this dress was different. It was bright pink with dark blue flowers swirling on the fabric, outlined in sparkling gold threads. A wide gold belt wrapped around her waist separating the top from the long bottom. The fabric went all of the way to her ankles with slits at the sides, exposing just enough leg. The neck line was a soft curve, showing her pale skin. She didn't have on makeup and her hair looked the same, but her boots had been replaced by blue sandals. She looked like a _woman_. She looked…wow….

They went to the party. It was very nice, complete with dancing and such. Mal sat with Zoe. She was tough as nails, but he didn't feel that she should be alone. The dancing had to remind her of Wash. Simon and Kaylee's outward display of their affections for one another wasn't really helping things. Inara was with her friend, Jayne was impressing the local ladies with his muscles, Simon and Kaylee were dancing, and then there was River.

She was out there on the makeshift dance floor alone. That didn't stop her from dancing. She twirled around, exposing her legs. He was amazed by her footwork. He watched her dance, completely fascinated by her. Everything about her. Her grace, her dress, her skin, her legs-- He wouldn't go there. He couldn't. For a second, he thought about what it would be like to dance with her. Just as he thought that, she looked over at him. She smiled and then continued dancing alone. Was she waiting for him to go over to her? Did she want to dance with him? Did _he _want to dance with _her_?

The party was cut short, due to the loud thunder, bright lighting, and heavy rainfall. Everyone took off for the shelter of their homes or other buildings and the crew ran for Serenity as fast as they could…except River. She stayed were she was, still dancing alone in the pouring rain. He walked over to her.

"Darlin' we best be gettin' back to the ship 'fore we catch somethin'."

"You wanted to dance. Let's dance."

"Not now, little one. Another time."

"Why not?"

"It's pourin' out here!"

"Washing away everything. Everything sliding away. The start of a new day."

"You're gonna get sick."

"What makes you think I've ever been well?" She took his hand in hers. "Dance."

He didn't want to, but you can't dance with someone by only holding their hand. You _have _to put your other hand on them _somewhere._ He cautiously put his arm around her waist. He tried to keep some space between them, but of course she closed it. She was right up against him. They were both getting completely soaked. Slowly, they started to move around. They weren't doing any exact dance, just moving around in slow circles. He twirled her around to get some distance between them. If Simon saw…

"He wouldn't do anything, don't worry."

There she goes again, reading his thoughts.

"We should get back."

She agreed and they got back onto the ship. Her hair was soaked, twisted, and sticking to her back. Her dress was also wet and it clung to her even more than before. He had to keep his thoughts on something else. He didn't want her to hear what he was thinking. She floated away with Kaylee. He watched her go. She was probably going to change into some dry clothes…….he froze that image in his head and then scolded himself for doing so.


	7. Chapter 7

He waited up again. Just long enough to make sure everyone else had gone to sleep. Why did he want to see her? It made no sense to him. All that he knew is that he wanted to see her, be with her, help her. He didn't waste any time. He went straight into the cockpit without hesitation. The rain was pelting against the windows, almost drowning out the sobs coming from River…almost, not quite. She was as far up in the cockpit as you could go, tucked into a tiny ball. He went down to her, his heart breaking for her. She shouldn't have the pain. She didn't deserve it.

He sat on a crate beside her, placing a hand on her bare shoulder, the feel of her skin against his sending sparks through him. Her teary eyes looked up at him with anguish.

"It's my fault," her voice was so small, vulnerable.

"What is darlin'?"

"Wash…Book. I'm the reason they're dead."

"No, no. Where'd you get that crazy idea from?"

"I know it is. I'm the reason the Alliance came after you and killed everyone at Haven. If I wasn't there, we'd never have gone to Mr. Universe and Wash wouldn't be dead. Don't act like it isn't."

"Why are you sayin' all this?"

"I heard Zoe. She's crying, pleading, breaking. Please make this pain end. All because of me. I'm sorry."

"There's nothin' to be sorry 'bout little one!"

"If Simon had just left me there, none of this would have happened."

"But you'd still be there goin' through hell!"

"I deserve it. Wash and Book didn't."

"You don't deserve it."

"Or maybe…if you had just left me at the Maidenhead…"

"River, look at me."

She looked at him, tears still falling from her big brown eyes.

"What's done is done. I don't blame you for nothin'. Nobody does."

"I do. I'm so sorry…"

The pain in her voice, the tears on her face, it was like a knife going through his heart. He didn't care about anything else. He put his arms around her. She gripped his shirt with one hand, the other wrapped around him. She shut her eyes tightly, letting another tear fall down her face.

"I'm sorry…"

"Stop apologizin' for somethin' that ain't your fault!"

He felt her rigid breathing on his neck. It wasn't her fault. It really wasn't. She thought it was, and it was hurting her…which was killing him. He put his hand on the back of her head, feeling her soft hair.

"This ain't your fault, okay? You gotta know that."

She pulled away, looking at him silently. He put his hand on her face, the other clasping her hand tightly. Her milky white skin was glowing in the moonlight. He could almost see through her white nightgown. He looked away, feeling bad about being attracted to her when she was so vulnerable.

"I blame the Alliance. They had no right doin' what they done to you. Someone like you don't deserve this pain you got. I won't have you hurtin' over somethin' that wasn't your fault."

He didn't even realize he was gently rubbing her face until she put her hand over his. He smiled at her and then put his arms around her again. She hugged him back. The hug went on longer than she thought it would. They were sitting there listening to the rain and their breathing, and they were _holding _each other. He couldn't even fathom how the Alliance could take River from her home and do all that they did to her. It made him burn with rage. How could anyone do that to another human being? A girl especially. A girl like River especially.

"It's okay," she whispered in his ear, sending chills all over his body. "I'm not angry, and you shouldn't be either."

"What they done to you ain't right. You shouldn't of gone through that."

"But I did. Being angry about it doesn't make anything move forward. Anchor off the side of the boat. Cut the rope, start sailing."

He smiled. How could she be so amazing? She went through hell, and although it hurts, she isn't bitter. He's bitter, very bitter. Why can't he be more like her?

"You're somethin' else, little albatross…"

She smiled and leaned into him just a little bit more. He held her close, trying to keep his hands from exploring her back. He could smell her hair. It was like flowers and fruit. It was more intoxicating than he thought it would be. A sudden crack of thunder made her jump slightly. His grip tightened. They stayed together like that for awhile, holding each other while the storm raged on. It had been raining when they first flew together. He never thought that he'd be holding her like he was.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"For what?"

"You quiet the screams."

She pulled away. Their eyes locked for moment. She started leaning in like she was going to kiss him. He didn't pull away. He waited. She closed her eyes, lips ready. He got his own lips ready for the kiss, but her lips landed on his cheek. He felt stupid for thinking that she'd want to kiss him on the lips.

"Goodnight."

With that, she stood up and walked away into the night. He sat there thinking about what had just happened. Holding her, feeling her, smelling her, it was too much. The room was spinning. He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the spot where her warm lips had just been. He could almost imagine those lips on his, just like in his dream. His hand on her face, her soft hair…was this a dream? Did he really hold her? Did she really kiss his cheek? He put his hand on his neck. It felt like her breath was still there. He wanted it to be there. He wanted her to come back and be with him. He wanted to feel her skin, her hair, her lips, her breath. He wanted to taste her. _This is just moonlight madness_, he thought. He had no idea how wrong he was.


	8. Chapter 8

Madness had been the correct term for it. Slowly, the dreams and fantasies he had about Inara had changed, and River took her place. He had more and more vivid dreams about her, each one ending with a pile of clothes on the floor. Every night, they'd meet in the cockpit without fail. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn't. He couldn't wait to walk in and find his little albatross sitting quietly in thought. She had her good nights and her bad ones, just like her days. On good nights, they would usually talk. She'd make him tell her stories from his past, or sometimes just stories in general. On her bad nights, he was there to calm her down and sometimes even hold her once again. Being near her and _feeling _her, it drove him further into his madness and he couldn't get enough.

He had called her many things; darlin', little one, albatross, reader, crazy; but he never thought he'd call her friend, confidant, and even in his wildest dreams, lover. She was like hard liquor. Addicting, intoxicating, and sometimes dangerous. Definitely dangerous. Every night while he waited to see her, he'd come up with more reasons why he couldn't feel this way. She was too young, too fragile, too vulnerable. He wouldn't take advantage. He was afraid that he'd hurt her. She'd been through enough. What if it didn't work out? What if it did? Then there was Simon. He'd probably attack him, or slip him something that would kill him. And of course River probably didn't want to be with him. He was probably like a father to her. He was old enough to be, that's for sure. Then, he'd spend a few hours in the dead of night with her and all of those reasons no longer mattered. The world was suddenly empty and only two things remained: him and her.

In the daytime, they never spoke about what happened at night. They were two separate times, separate worlds. His feelings though stayed the same. He'd look over at her, completely and hopelessly enamored. Those eyes made his heart melt. But if she knew, he feared what might happen. If she didn't feel the same, things between them would change. He didn't want to lose what they had. Not to mention the fact that his heart would be crushed until only tiny little pieces remained. But if she did feel the same…he just didn't see how it could work. He wanted it to…really _really _wanted it to. It just couldn't. The only thing he could do is stop feeling that way. Everyone who has ever felt this way knows that's pretty much impossible. He didn't want to stop feeling the madness; he loved the way her touch made his heart go into overdrive or the way her voice made him smile. It was like every tragic romance ever, and she defiantly deserved better than that. Better than _him_.

"I need you," she had said after appearing mysteriously in his bunk. Her soft pale legs had appeared on the ladder silently. He didn't know she was there until she spoke those three words. I need you.

She had climbed onto his bed, sitting in front of him as he sat up. He didn't fight it, he gave into it happily. Her small arms wrapped around his neck, her legs wrapped around his waist. They kissed. His hands slid across her back, over her hair, over the thin fabric of her nightgown. He let his lips move from hers, tasting every inch of bare skin he could. She kissed him back wherever she could. Her nightgown was pulled over her head, he wasn't sure if he had helped with that or not and it wouldn't surprise him if he did. They kissed again, her bare skin pressed against his. He stopped to look into those eyes he now adored and longed to see. She leaned in, her lips barely grazing his. She kissed his neck, shoulders, chest tracing his scars with her kisses. Eventually the rest of their clothes wound up beside her nightgown on the floor and he surrendered to his desires happily without a second thought.

He sat up, drenched in sweat. Another dream. He couldn't let this continue. He tried to think about anything, anything at all that he didn't like about her. _She's a crazy albatross. She goes on and on without makin' much sense. She ain't right in the head. _He paused, thinking about what he had just thought. _Yeah, she ain't quite right but that's what makes her River. She may be crazy and have problems, but don't we all?_

That day, River was in a great mood. The day didn't have anything to do with the night, so he found out. He went through the day waiting for the night to fall. That's what he looked forward to the most, his time alone with his ship and his little albatross. He loved his crew (even Simon had earned a place in his heart, granted it wasn't a very large or important part, but still) but they clouded things up. He couldn't hear Serenity hum and creak like he could at night. Then Inara and Kaylee were always taking River away to do "girl" things, whatever they were. He needed the one on one time with her and his ship.

He walked into the cockpit that night expecting to see River waiting. She wasn't in either of the pilot chairs, she wasn't in the very nose of the ship, she wasn't under the control stations…she wasn't there. For the first time in several weeks, she wasn't there. This worried him, obviously. He started walking around. She had to be somewhere. He checked the galley, the common area, the lab, the cargo hold, crates in the cargo hold, both shuttles, all of the secret nooks he knew about, the empty rooms, the engine room, and even her room. Yet she was nowhere to be found. She had simply vanished.

He sat on the couch, sick with worry. _Where could she be? It's not like she could have left the ship. She has to be here somewhere._ He heard what sounded like crying. He got up and followed it to River's door. He cracked the door just enough to where he could see in. River was sitting on her bed, where she hadn't been just moments ago, crying softly. He opened the door the rest of the way. She looked up, slightly startled even though she knew he'd be at her door. He walked over at sat at the edge of her bed.

"You had me worried, little one."

She didn't reply or even look at him. Something was wrong. Had he said something? Done something? Did she know about his feelings?

"What's wrong? Why didn't you go to the cockpit tonight?"

"You think too loudly."


	9. Chapter 9

He froze. Did she know? What if she saw his dream? A million thoughts were racing through his head, all of which he tried to keep quiet. He pulled himself together and looked up at River.

"What did you hear?"

"She's a crazy albatross. She goes on and on without makin' much sense. She ain't right in the head."

"Now I can explain-"

"Thoughts don't lie."

"They do if you're lyin' to yourself darlin'."

"I don't understand."

Those eyes looked at him, filled with hurt because of him. That's exactly why he couldn't have feelings for her. He'd only hurt her. He's already started and they aren't even together. He had to make this better. Maybe it was time to tell her everything.

"I was tryin' to find things I don't like about you."

"Why?"

"So I could talk myself outta feelin' the way I feel."

She could tell that he wasn't lying.

"Oh and after I thought that, I thought 'bout how those weren't things I don't like about you. There really ain't anythin' I don't like about you. 'Cept when you poke around in my head."

She smiled. There had to be a reason, she knew there would be.

"Am I a crazy albatross?"

He looked at her, a wide grin spreading across his face.

"Yes, but you're my crazy albatross."

You're my crazy albatross, ain't no doubt about it darlin'.

She heard his thought, and her smile widened.

"Crazy ain't always a bad thing you know…"

"Really?"

"Yeah, and you're the good kind of crazy. Don't let anyone tell you different."

"I won't."

He looked at her. He could see her bare legs, her arms, her shoulders, neck… Basically her nightgown only covered her breasts to about half way down her thighs. Talk about temptation. He looked away. If he kept looking at her, he'd go crazy. Seeing her skin made him want to touch and taste her.

"I best be off to bed. Sweet dreams, little one."

"Goodnight."

He smiled at her and then left. He kept visualizing her over and over again as he walked back to his bunk. He got undressed and climbed into bed.

He was in the cockpit gazing out at the Black. He heard her behind him. Slowly, he turned around and there she was. She was in the same skimpy nightgown as she was before. Their eyes met. Words didn't have to be spoken. She reached out and hit the button, shutting the door all without breaking their gaze. They walked towards each other, still lost in each other's eyes. When they were close enough, he grabbed her arm pulling her into a passionate kiss. She kissed back with force while wrapping her arms around him. They broke their kiss for only a moment. Her eyes said it all. He didn't have to even ask. His hands went to the buttons on his shirt, quickly getting as many of the buttons undone as possible. She helped him get the shirt off, breaking a few of the buttons in the process.

Their lips met again as her hands explored his chest, trying to feel as much of him as much as they possibly could. His lips found their way to her shoulder as he pushed one of the spaghetti straps down. She got the other one. They continued to undress while maintaining contact with each other at all times, most of which included their lips and tongues finding their way across each other's bare skin. She pushed him down onto one of the pilot chairs. He pulled her on top of him and into a passionate and rough kiss. Their lips pulled apart. She put her forehead against his, trying to make the moment last. He kissed her again, his hands discovering all of her body as she shuddered under his touch.

His eyes flew open. He got up and took a shower after that one. Meanwhile, River's eyes also flew open. She saw his dream…all of his dream. Every little erotic detail to be exact. This time she was glad that he was thinking loudly…

The day went on, like it always did. Everything was the same as it always was. She was listening for his thoughts now. It didn't matter how quietly he thought them. She'd hear them. As she flew, I can't get enough of those big brown eyes. As they sat around at dinner, I love it when she smiles like that. And that laugh… Every private thought he had about her, she heard. And he had no clue.

He wandered into the cockpit that night always. She was there this time and there was something different. He couldn't put his finger on it. It was something in her eyes when she looked at him, or the way she smiled. She was in another little nightgown. Oh the things he wanted to do…

"Hey there," he smiled.

She smiled back and floated over to him. He loved how she did that. There was about a foot between them when she stopped.

"There's something you haven't told me," she began.

"What haven't I told you?"

"What you feel, what you want."

"What do you mean darlin'?"

"I saw your dream. I heard all of your thoughts."

His throat closed. He forgot what breathing was or how to do it. She knew.

"Why didn't you say?"

"I…we wouldn't work. I didn't want to lose what we had," he replied weakly after remembering that the air goes in and then out and repeat…

"Why would we lose what we had?"

"If you didn't feel the same."

"Well I do."


	10. Chapter 10

Wait…okay…double take. _Did she just…say that she feels the same? _

"You feel the same?"

"Yes I do."

Before he could even process this information, she pulled him in and kissed him for real this time. It was better than he could have ever imagined. Her soft, sweet, warm lips pressed to his own. It made him drunk, addicted to her taste. He put his arms around her, deepening the kiss. Sure there were a million reasons that they shouldn't be together, but they didn't matter because they _were _together. They pulled apart. Her eyes telling him what she wanted, _needed_, _craved_. Just like in every dream he had, he didn't fight it or even argue it.

He scooped her up, their lips still glued to each other, and went to his bunk. Going down the ladder was tricky. She was light enough to carry with just one arm, but that wasn't the hard part. The hard part was being able to navigate the ladder while she kissed him everywhere she could. One by one, their clothing went flying everywhere. His shirt landed on one of the ladder bars and one of his boots landed on his desk. He ran his hand down her leg, finally able to feel her smooth skin. He kissed her everywhere, already in love with her taste. He couldn't get enough. She ran her smooth hands all over him, feeling his warmth. Her hands were already enthralled with the sensation of his flesh against hers. Their deep and quick breaths filled the quiet room with the occasional soft moan. His fantasy, and hers, was coming true.

He couldn't believe it. There she was in _his _bunk, _his _bed, sleeping beside him gorgeous and naked. She had this peacefulness about her when she slept. He first noticed after the Maidenhead incident as he watched over her. He pulled the sheet up further over her beautiful bare back and swept some of her hair gently out of her face. This couldn't be happening. He had to be a dream. But it was happening and it wasn't a dream. He thought that he would regret it, but he didn't. He thought that it was the most incredible thing that had ever happened. She started to stir. She opened her eyes sleepily and saw Mal looking back at her. She instantly greeted him with a smile. He smiled back. She obviously wasn't regretting it either. She moved closer to him. He put his arm around her and she set her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. They never wanted to move.

He gently stroked her hair. She looked up at him with those eyes. He grinned and then leaned down to kiss her. She met his lips happily. She already missed tasting those lips. The kiss lasted for a decent amount of time and involved tongue, _lots _of tongue. After it finally ended she smiled and went back to lying down on his chest.

"Little one?"

"Hm?"

"Are we…"

"Going to keep this a secret?"

"Yeah. But we don't have to if you don't wanna. I can talk to Simon-"

"You will, just not yet."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Whatever you want my little albatross."

He kissed the top of her head and then he felt her smiling against his chest.

"I should get going before everyone wakes up," she sighed.

He didn't want her to go…ever. He held her a bit tighter, but then loosened his grip when she sat up.

"I don't want to go, but I really should."

"Okay…"

The sadness in his voice made her sad too. She kissed him on the mouth and then on the cheek and then the neck before getting out of bed.

"Where's my nightgown?"

"Check that shelf," he said pointing behind him. She saw it and quickly got it down. She put it on. He watched as she did. He hated for all of her skin to be hidden again. He got out of bed before she got over to the ladder. He caught her hand and pulled her towards him. He gave her a final kiss. He held her close for a few long moments before she insisted that she should be leaving. He nodded sadly and watched her scale the ladder. What a night…

He got dressed and then met everyone for breakfast. No one seemed to notice that River and Mal couldn't stop smiling or looking at each other. They sat in the cockpit together, talking like they did in the night. Somehow, night and day had merged. They were laughing like crazy. They also managed to sneak a kiss or two. The first he started. He handed her her lunch and then quickly leaned down while no one was around. The second she started. She got up and went over to him, leaning across him to point at one of the buttons. She asked innocently what it was for, although she knew full well what it was. They kissed again and again no one saw.

They met in the cockpit that night. Before he even could say anything, she was kissing him, hungry for his taste. They broke apart and she took his hand, leading him to his bunk.

"Forward, I like it…" he laughed.

Once again, she stayed until a few hours before everyone would be waking up. She left after that. It became a routine, only instead of meeting in the cockpit she'd just come right down into his bunk. They never met in River's room because he'd be too loud. She could float into his room and no one would hear.

They didn't always have sex. Sometimes they'd just lie there together, or if it was a bad night he'd just hold her until she could sleep. They couldn't get enough. Each day they took more and more risk, kissing, touching, hugging in plain sight. It wouldn't be a secret forever. The crew had to know eventually. He feared the day he had to tell Simon. It would be worth the punch he'd surely receive. Seeing her there beside him watching her breathe, it would so be worth it.

It had been almost three weeks since their first night together. It was about three hours before everyone would wake up. That meant that she had to leave. That was his least favorite thing. He'd rather be stabbed or shot than watch her leave, even if he knew he'd see her in just a few hours time. She kissed him to wake him up. She gently ran her hand down his face.

"Mal…Mal…"

"Wha…?" he yawned.

"I have to go."

"No…"

"Yes…"

She rolled out of bed, slowly getting dressed. She was such a morning person. The entire time she was humming and twirling about, like it was some dance. He watched her move, her dress twirling, her hair flying every which way. He couldn't help but smile. She stopped suddenly looking around the room. She lifted up a few things, obviously looking for something.

"What you lose darlin'?"

"My yellow sweater."

"That's a lesson right there. You should know by now to show up with _less _clothes. I'm just gonna rip 'em off…"

She smiled and then continued looking. He got out of bed to help. They didn't find it anywhere. They toss them every which way. He wouldn't be surprised if it's somewhere completely strange.

"I'll keep lookin' and then I'll get it to you."

"Okay."

"I hate this part…"

"So do I."

"See you soon, little one."

They kissed and then she left once again. He sighed and then started searching his bunk for the yellow sweater. He found it wedged between the wall and the bed. He had no idea how it got there. No one would be up for hours, so he decided to take it to her right then. That, and he already missed her. He didn't wear his boots for fear of being too loud. He just slipped on a shirt without buttoning it. He had on his loose pajama pants, so he didn't have to put on any other pants. He tried to get down the steps as silently as possible, which he did surprisingly well, and then he went over to her room. He tapped on the door, just loud enough for her to hear. She slid open the door just enough to see Mal standing there smiling. He held up the yellow sweater. She opened the door all of the way. She was only half dressed like he was. She took the sweater from him and set it on the bed. He stood there in the door way. She pulled on his shirt. That was her way of inviting him in, which he obviously didn't refuse.

They started kissing violently, practically eating each other's faces off. She put her hands on his chest, intentionally pushing him into the wall with a thud. He kissed her neck, running his hands down her back and arms. She pulled away, breathing deeply.

"We have to stop."

"I know."

He kissed her again. She kissed him back, running her hands down his face. She pulled away again.

"We have to stop!"

"We will…just one more kiss…"

He kissed her on the throat, her most sensitive and ticklish spot. She laughed a little louder than she thought she did. He kept kissing her working his way up her throat, to her chin, to her mouth, and then all of the way back down again. She giggled and then pushed him away to make the tickling torture stop.

"Stop!"

"River, is everything-" Inara slid the door open seeing Mal's arms around River and his lips on her neck. "…okay…"


	11. Chapter 11

There they were. Mal and River, both half dressed, together, his arms around her, his lips on her, her hands on his bare chest…and then there was Inara standing in the doorway with a combination of shock and heartbreak on her face. River and Mal quickly parted.

"Inara-" Mal began. She shook her head, eyes filled with tears, and then ran off. Mal watched feeling rather upset himself. River took his hand, squeezing it gently.

"Go after her."

"Are you sure?"

"Go."

He kissed her quickly on the top of the head and then went after Inara. There was a time he loved her. He did. After she left, it hurt him more than he could say. When they were back together after Miranda, something had changed. It was either him or her, but they didn't have the same fire. She was the last person he would have wanted to catch them…wait no, _Simon _was the last person he would have wanted to catch them. She still had feelings for him although his feelings for her had dwindled long ago. He wasn't looking forward to this conversation. However, Inara was no where to be found. He looked for awhile, but gave up and returned to River's room.

"That's why we meet in your bunk."

"We can't be quiet can we?" he teased.

"It's your fault for tickling me."

"It's your fault for being so gorramn kissable."

She smiled. They sat down on her bed. He wrapped his arms around her. She leaned up against him while he leaned against the wall. He nuzzled her with his nose, getting lost in the smell of her hair once again.

"Do you think that everyone will find out now?"

"I reckon they might, but it had to come out eventually anyways."

"I'm worried about what Simon will do."

"That makes the both of us darlin'. Don't worry, little one. I can handle it."

She moved closer to him, hoping he could. He kissed her temple and tightened his hold on her. She put her arms over his, once again longing for the warmth of his skin. Suddenly, she flinched. He could tell that something was wrong.

"What's wrong?"

"I hear him…he knows…"

"Simon?"

She nodded quietly as fear and dread came over her. "He's very upset."

"I s'ppose he should be. I ain't exactly the shiniest guy in the 'verse."

"You are to me."

She meant it, and he knew that she did. He heard it in her voice. He felt the same way about her.

"We should get dressed," he said quietly. She nodded in agreement.

She got dressed while he started to button his shirt. She came over and helped him with it, her smaller fingers gliding across the buttons gracefully.

"It seems weird that you're helpin' me _button _my shirt…"

She laughed and then fixed his collar. He was so handsome. She loved everything about him. His eyes, his lips, and especially his skin. She kissed him on the cheek. He felt the fear she was feeling. He wasn't exactly feeling too great either. He just had to expect pain and remember _not _to hit back. That wouldn't be good. This is her brother. He can't hit back.

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't, thank you."

"I won't. If I'm about to, you have the right to step in and stop me."

"I will."  
She would. He knew that she would. They left her room and went up to the galley together. River looked up at him fearfully.

"He's on his way," she whispered.

Sure enough, the doctor came storming into the galley in nothing but his pajama bottoms. He saw Mal and went right up to him with a fist ready. It collided with Mal's face. He'd let him get in that one punch. Simon deserved it. Mal reached up and felt the bruise on his cheek, wincing under the pressure of his fingers.

"Simon!" River cried.

A few unpleasant words from Simon in Chinese and a threat or two later, Simon was reaching for something…anything to hit Mal with.

"No! **NO **you are **NOT **going to hit him with a plate!" River snapped.

"A plate?" Mal asked nervously. "I could have been hit with a _plate_?"

"You are no longer going to get anywhere near my sister! Dong ma?"

"Calm down doc."

"Don't you tell me to calm down! I'm going to kill you!"

Simon grabbed a plate, just like River saw in her head, and got ready to hit Mal with it. River jumped in front of Mal, he quickly put his arm in front of her, pushing her back behind him. If it hadn't been for Kaylee, who came out of nowhere, things could have turned really ugly really quickly. She took the plate from him.

"Calm down Simon!" she cried.

"Calm down? He is doing my sister and I'm supposed to calm down? He's old enough to be her father! He's-"

"What? I'm what?" Mal asked angrily.

"Simon, think before you answer-" Kaylee said nervously.

"No good," Simon spat.

"Simon…" Kaylee groaned.

Mal and Simon ignored her. They stared each other down, their stares as cold and threatening as they could muster.

"I don't want you to get within six feet of her ever again!" Simon growled.

"That ain't gonna happen, doc. I'll tell you why. I'm crazy about her. This has been goin' on for longer than you probably think. This ain't some one time fling. I know you must be thinkin' that I'm goin' to hurt her, but I'd rather die than hurt her. And I love her. There ain't anything you can do about it."

Simon looked at River, who was quietly tucked behind Mal. "River, do you feel the same?" She stepped forward.

"I do. I love him." She looked up and smiled at him. He smiled back and put his arm around her. Simon stalked off without another word.

"Um, good for you guys. I'll be…makin' sure everything's shiny…" Kaylee smiled and then went after Simon.

"At least he only hit me once," Mal smiled.

She looked at his bruise and then barely kissed it.

"So…you love me?" Mal asked. She grinned.

"You have to ask?"

He smiled sheepishly and then said, "Well I ain't a reader like someone I know and love."

This made her smile even more.


	12. Chapter 12

Since everyone knew except for Zoe and Jayne, they figured that they should tell them. Simon and Inara were both absent from the breakfast table, which was a good thing. Mal didn't feel like receiving all of the threatening glares.

"Where's Inara and Simon?" Zoe asked.

"They're…not very hungry…" Kaylee replied while shooting a glance at Mal and River, who were sitting side by side for once.

"What's going on sir?" Zoe asked with her typical eyebrow arch.

"Yeah, about that. We have an announcement to make…" he trailed off.

"Who's 'we'?" Jayne asked.

"Me and River. We're…together."

"As in…" Zoe stopped and looked at Mal and River. Surely they weren't…

"Together," he nodded as he put his hand over River's, which she quickly grasped.

Jayne looked at Mal and then at River. Shortly after that he erupted into awkward laughter, unable to believe that they were serious. After evil stares from everyone, he stopped laughing and cleared his throat. "Uh…that's…shiny…"

"Good for you two," Zoe said with a smile. That eased their nerves, and they smiled back.

"Thanks Zoe," Mal nodded, exhaling a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

"I agree with Zoe. I'm happy for you guys!" Kaylee said in her usual bright tone.

"That bruise on yer face is from Simon I reckon," Jayne commented, once again on the brink of laughter. Mal nodded, sending him over the edge. A few awkward minutes passed where no one spoke and Jayne laughed. After the most uncomfortable breakfast of Mal and River's life, they decided that they should try to smooth things over with Inara and Simon.

"I'll talk to Simon. You need to converse with Inara. She's in her old shuttle."

"Are you sure that you wanna talk to Simon alone?"

"Yes. Unless you would prefer more violence."

"No, I think I'm good."

She smiled and then gave him a quick peck on the good cheek before walking away.

He was dreading this conversation with Inara. She'd surely ask to leave and maybe even slap him. His face can only take oh so much in one day. He knocked on her shuttle door before entering for the first time…ever?

"Come in," Inara called.

"I knocked this time," he said with a smile. She looked like she had been crying. _Shiny job, Mal. You made her cry. _

"I'd like to go back to the training house."

"Now wait a minute-"

"No, I want to go."

"But this boat is your home!"

"I was staying for you! I thought that maybe…it doesn't matter now. I was wrong. I can't stay and see you with her. It'll make me crazy!"

"But-"

"I just want to know one thing. Did you ever love me?"

"I did! When you left it nearly killed me!"

"What made you stop loving me then?"

"Just 'cause I'm not _in _love with you don't mean that I don't love you. You brighten this place up! You make everyone happy. Kaylee, Zoe…" _Don't say River. Don't say River. _"The point is that I don't want you to go again."

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes I do."

"I guess I could stay a bit longer…"

"Okay."

"One more thing…why River?"

"She fixed the broken horse."

With that, he smiled and then left. He followed the shouting to the common area, but he didn't go down the steps. He stayed up there, watching the events below unfold.

"River, I don't think he's the right guy to take care of you!"  
"Well he has Simon when you weren't there!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You have the right to your own life. You have that with Kaylee now. You can't be there. So when you weren't he was!"

"Mei mei, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't. It's fine. I want you to realize that I want to be with him! Please just accept this for what it is!"

"What is it?"

"Love."

"Why him, mei mei?"

"He quiets the screams."

Simon didn't know what to say to that, so he gave her a hug and then went back into his lab. River knew Mal was up the steps. She heard his thoughts. She looked up at him with a smile and then walked up the steps to him. He put his arm around her and they started walking towards the cockpit.

"Sir, can I have a word?"

"Sure thing Zoe. I'll be in soon."

River nodded and then went to the cockpit.

"I want you to know that I support you one hundred percent, but I'm just a little concerned-"

"It's okay. I love her."

"That's all I needed to hear. Congratulations sir."

She patted him on the back before vanishing down the hall. He joined River in the cockpit.

"Everything seems good," River said. He wasn't sure if she meant that about the ship or about everything with them, but either way good was…good.

"Sure does darlin'…sure does."

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. He was there with _his _ship and now _his _girl, _his _crazy little albatross. Nothing could have been more perfect in all of the 'verse.

_A/N:_

_Thank you for reading and for all of the reviews! I've enjoyed writing this, especially since I'm snowed in and there's nothing else to do. Thanks again for reading. Much love! 3333_


	13. AN

_A/N:_

_Hello all! I'm hearing that the ending seemed rushed, and there's actually a reason for that. It's explained in the 1.5 version of this story, which is from Inara's POV with some of Simon's as well. It's called: "Plotting" and expect a part two to Nightfalling… _

_Thanks for all the support. Much love! _


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